A Prescription for Success: Are You Doing What It Takes?

Are you committed to your success or are you committed to…something else?

One measure, look at the results of your business and life. Do you have what you want? Is it the life and the work that you dream of?

WARNING: Before we go on, know that you might read the next paragraph and think, “That’s not me. I don’t do that.” But before you quit reading, consider whether you are having the results in your business and are reaching the level of success you want. If the answer is no, then read on…especially if you don’t want to!

The second measure, ask yourself if you are you spending your time building and creating what you want? Do you have a plan and goals; are you taking steps each day to build your dream, to create the success you want? Or… and this is where it gets uncomfortable… or, are you spending your time making excuses, blaming, complaining, telling your story about why it didn’t or doesn’t work, using the economy as an excuse, or just avoiding thinking about it at all?

That might be uncomfortable to read. What’s more uncomfortable is to have your dreams fail because you aren’t facing what isn’t working. The reality is this: either you are building what you want, or you’re trying to become comfortable with what’s not working by focusing elsewhere.

It is up to you to decide… do you want the success and life you desire or do you want the excuse? You can’t have both. This may sound harsh but I’d rather get in your face now, get you uncomfortable with what’s not working so that you’ll make the changes you need to, to have the life you desire.

Maybe you believe that you can’t, that you don’t know how, that you’re not good enough, etc. Whatever your limiting belief is, I’m here to tell you that it’s not true. You have everything within you and available to you. You just need to take the first step, then the next. So, let’s get to the solution. The way to change anything is to change what you think, say and do. That’s it.

The Prescription:

1. Listen to yourself. What are you saying, in the world and in your head? Are you talking success or failure? Are you talking and thinking, “I can” and “It’s possible”? You’re not going to find solutions if you’re not looking for them. If your thoughts are on “I can’t” you’re not looking for solutions, you’re looking for excuses. You are smart and capable, so you’ll find whatever you’re looking for.

2. Get really uncomfortable and face what isn’t working. What do you want that you don’t have? Success? Great relationships? Enough money? Time to play?  What aren’t you doing that you need to be doing? Are you showing up and following through or not? Are you being the person, on a daily basis, that will get you the success and the life that you want? If you’re not, face it.

3. DECIDE that you are going to do what it takes to change. Change won’t happen until you decide to make it happen. Get to the point that you say, “I hate this! I want something different! I’m going to do something about it!” Then…

4. Change your thoughts and words to support your success. There is a catch to this though. With all the self help and spiritual tools out there, people are learning to make the uncomfortable comfortable. So use your thoughts and words not to make yourself comfortable with what isn’t working, but to believe in yourself and believe that what you desire is possible. Thoughts and words are often just habitual so stay conscious and practice thinking and talking like a winner until it become a habit, then keep doing it.

5. Do something. I’ve found that we usually know what to do, at least the next step. The trick is doing it. Do what you know you need to do today. The next step that’s right in front of you, do it. When you’ve done that, what’s next? Do that.

6. Go for it! Take the risk. Do what you really want to do. I know it’s not easy to really go for what you want, to step out on that limb, to close that sale, to change careers, to talk to that successful stranger. It’s risky… but do you really want an easy life? Or, do you want a life filled with great experiences in which you are fully alive, believing in yourself, and making your dreams happen.

Now that you have the prescription, use it to create the life and success you want. This sounds hard until you start doing it. But imagine going for what you really want instead of settling, finding out that you are the person you always knew you could be!

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Fear of Success? What Really Holds Us Back?

I was thinking about the term “fear of success.”  One of my great new clients said it today.  It gets used often when we aren’t getting the results we want and don’t understand why.  What does that mean, really?  Why would we be afraid of success?  Literally it doesn’t really make much sense.  So when we label ourselves with it we can feel something is wrong with us because we’re doing something that is harmful to our selves and why would we do that. 

Well, it’s not fear of success… it is fear of trusting ourselves and standing out.  Fear of trusting that we know what we’re doing and how to do it and saying that.  Fear of standing up or standing out in the world basically saying, “yeah, I know what I’m doing.  I know what’s right or best.”  Fear of being seen and know… and vulnerable.  Yes, vulnerable.  And, that’s not wrong.  It’s very natural and healthy… and it can really get in our way if we let that fear stop us. 

I’ve found in my clients that have a big and very personal mission that this “fear of success” comes up.  Of course it does.  When you want to go out into the world and show your self, in such a bold, personal and vulnerable way, it’s scary. 

When we were kids, we believed we could do anything and be anyone.  We believed that we were artists and singers and… you name it.  Remember?  Then one at a time, or sometimes all at once, people told us we weren’t good at things and we started to question ourselves…  I mean, imagine if you painted like Picasso or Monet, or stood up and said things should be different like Gandhi.  How many teachers would have said, “Wow, that’s great”.  No, they said we weren’t doing it right (get back into the herd)… and some of us believed them… and there is the issue. 

It wasn’t just the that skill we questioned, we also starting distrusting our belief in ourselves… our trust that we knew something, our trust that we knew what was right. 

Rollo May in The Courage To Create wrote “If you do not express your original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

So, what do we do about it?  First, what you just read.  Think about all of that.  Think about it when self doubt comes in, when your instincts pop their heads up.  It helps to be conscious in those moments and make a choice versus reacting to the fear. 

What helps is having a mission.  The times when I or my clients really step out of our fear is when we see a need.  That’s one of the reason it’s so good to have a niche and target and a clear focus of how you’re being of service.  (Not having to perfectly know and recite it but having a basic understanding of what you’re here to do, what problem you’re solving and for who). 

The first workshop I designed, I created and gave, even though I was scared because I’d been at an event where people were talking about being very unhappy with their current work or not having any.  I heard their need, strong need, to have fulfilling work that gave them life.  I also heard that they didn’t know what to do about it or how to go about getting it.  Well, that’s what I did through my coaching, help people find their right livelihood.  The problem was, people at the event were family members and not appropriate to coach.  So, how could I serve them?  I could turn what I knew into a workshop or book.  

That workshop I still do and it’s one of my favorites.  I didn’t know then that I’d love giving workshops so much or be so good at it (Oops, did I say that I’m good at it out loud in front of you? ;).  I’ve found that I’m at my most successful when I find that place where I really see a need and also see that I have something to meet that need (not in a needy “I have to” but in a sort of “I love you” and want to help you way… Yes, I know this is business and I’m not “suppose to” say that but I don’t do average business… I’m Going For Extraordinary©.) 

My fear of being seen (“fear of success”) became smaller as I clearly saw that what I had was needed.  That helped me trust myself and what I had… and feel less vulnerable. 

“Fear of success” comes up big when we want to do something different, to do business a bigger, better, or new way, or to lead.  When we can remember and clearly see that what we’re doing is really needed, it helps. 

Who are you here to serve?  What is it you’re hear to do?  Get into the mix.  Start asking them questions.  Find out what they really need… whether a product or service or to lead in a certain way. 

Remember, when those moments of self doubt come in:

  1. Be conscious and choose… it’s only fear of being vulnerable.
  2. Find a place to know that your services are needed. 

You are magnificent…it’s time you trust your self, do what you know is right… and Go For Extraordinary!(tm) in all you do!

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